One of the best things about being back in school is being given all those good stuff to read; readings you normally wouldn't google online or find on Facebook. I like learning new things and although I miss the classroom setting a lot, I don't regret getting into this online program of the University.
A lot of people have asked why I took up this program and why didn't I take up a masteral related to my original degree. I didn't bother explaining; people hear what they want to hear and I don't think they'd understand anyway. Art has always been my first love, my greatest passion, my constant source of inspiration. It took me a long time to give it the attention it truly deserved and I hate myself for that. I shouldn't have doubted my abilities, I should have listened to me.
But life is forgiving. We are given second chances and the challenge is for us to realize that and to take it. This degree is my second chance. It is my chance to redeem what I have lost, to apply what I have learned. And I am grateful. I am discovering more and more each day: both about myself and the world. For example, I learned that I can't make myself bleed creative juice even if my life depended on it. Creativity comes to me, it is not something I consciously invoke. Thankfully, creativity always comes in the nick of time. I've also learned that there is dignity in privacy, that the Internet cannot and should not be regulated and that I have probably infringed 7047 copyrights in my 24 years of existence. School is cool.
This degree would take too long but that's okay. I've come to understand the importance of accepting things (some things at least) as they should be and patience most of all. I actually think I've become a very patient person after all the grueling hours I've spent in the hospital. I'm trying my best and I'm enjoying the ride and that's good enough for me.
delicious ambiguity.
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