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never, ever use friendship as a leverage at any circumstance that could potentially hurt someone else. nat geo says curiosity is good, but there are times when you just have to kill it. don't ask questions, don't spread the hurt. just saying.

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razbliuto. roughly defined as the sentimental feeling you have about someone you once loved but no longer do, is a word that originally never existed but suddenly came to be when the weight of describing this feeling was suddenly felt and when suddenly everybody started feeling the same way. i think i'd forever be razbliuto. but i guess that's okay. we all feel the same way at some point anyway.

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on a materialistic note, aren't these lovely?

it's a good thing they're too expensive. if this pair was a thousand pesos cheaper, i probably would have bought it without hesitation. crazy really, since i never really wear wedges when i go out. just owning pretty pairs of shoes makes me happy. wearing them occasionally (and killing my feet in turn) sends me to nirvana.

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happy april fool's day, by the way. i didn't get to buy my art supplies or my box of dougnuts. i had a late meal after work with Irene and we talked about doctors. hahaha. all types of them. those who are genuinely concerned about patients, those who are extubation-crazy, those who are in it just for the title, those who don't know what they got themselves into even after n years of medschool education. i used to want to be a doctor. a surgeon. a neurosurgeon. but that was during the hype of grey's anatomy and when derek shepard was my gorgeous hero. but i realized the hospital isn't the place for me. it's such a sad place where people die everyday and where sickness is a constant. cure isn't always at hand, pain is always present. i'm barely four months into this job and already i feel like i've seen too much pain. you can tell by their breaths and their heartbeats how long they have left. i try to whisper to some of them to hold on and not give up but i guess i can only say so much, i cannot give them sufficient strength. tragic, really.

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delicious ambiguity.