give up the blackhole

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." -Thomas Edison

we're allowed to give up once in a while right? because right now, i think, that's the right thing to do. all this time, all these years, all you've ever done was drain me. you're this big blackhole in my life.

no more. call me weak, but my life can go on without you. i've had enough of being taken for granted.

delicious ambiguity.

sketcharoo 29

it's hell out here. the heavy rain won't stop, floodwater keeps building up and more and more people are being evacuated. it's scary. i've been praying since this morning. god help us.

but the rain can't stop me from being productive. so i read up on colored pencils tutorials this afternoon. i said i was going to try another colored drawing today. i practiced all the techniques and i think i got the basics. but i still ended up drawing another B&W. heh. i wanted to try out the techniques using graphite pencils since i never really read up on it before so here we go.

i decided to shade the whole face first. i decided i'd focus on the eyes later. i wanted to finish the left side of the drawing first in order to minimize the mess i'd make on the drawing.

i'm pretty happy with the result. i think i exerted more effort on this drawing compared to the previous ones. note the clean-cut borders. hahaha. hmm makes me think about extending my love affair with B&W.

delicious ambiguity.

sketcharoo 28

 thirty-fourth. i wanted to give blonde hair another go, so..

pretty happy with the result. although i know i could've done better. this was one of the toughest i had to do. cheers to better blonde days!

people could change for the better, if they wanted to.

delicious ambiguity.

sketcharoo 27

thirty-third. still a color-free drawing. seeing my colored pencils set makes me scared these days. i feel like i don't have the power to wield them.

 2 drawings in 2 days. i must be very, very sad. or stressed. or bored. or all of the above.

 right after i finished this drawing, i learned that i was working the morning shift tomorrow. jeezus, i should be sleeping. goodnight, world. see you tomorrow.

delicious ambiguity.

sketcharoo 26

thirty-second.

 recently discovered the gold mine that is harper's bazaar. sooo many good pictures. not to mention BIG.

 last time i drew was two months ago. i really can't trust myself to stick to something so faithfully.

pretty happy with the result, though i'm not quite satisfied with the hair.

but for now, excuse me, i need to dance to "moves like jagger".
delicious ambiguity.

bad day.

it's that feeling again.

the feeling that i don't belong in this particular corner of the world. a misfit. that's how it feels like. the feeling that tells you you ought to be somewhere else, doing something else. it's amazing how a bad day can run me down like this. i try so hard to do good here but i don't know, somehow i still manage to mess things up.

delicious ambiguity.

read to me.

"..they say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time."

i found this on tumblr today and i realized how sad it must be to die a second time. which brings me to the point of this blog. i've been thinking a lot about my patients lately and i figured i could be in their place one day (though i hope not.) if i fall into a coma, i hope somebody, anybody would read me stories. books, any good book will do.

stories from the beginning til the end.

read to me when i can't anymore.
live for me when i can't.

delicious ambiguity.