one serious sketcharoo post (for once)

i finally mustered enough courage and self-confidence to finish this project that i started eons ago. i'm not completely happy with the result, i could have chosen a picture with a full face, i could have chosen a black and white photo from the internet but i didn't. maybe the desire to complete the project was greater than the desire to actually improve my craft. but that's just terrible, louie. you suck.

but is there a way to justify this? don't we all have those moments, when the need for satisfaction comes in the form of a completed project instead of knowing that you improved in your craft because no one gives a damn anyway? the feeling of satisfaction is greatly magnified when there is an audience to appreciate what you've done. no one goes around shouting "i'm better at this!" because that would make you a retard. a retard who's too full of himself. oh but wait. people do that these days. bummer. sometimes i forget how the times have changed. or maybe, i just like pretending the times haven't changed so much. there is always that ache when i think about how things used to be before facebook, twitter and the internet. a lot of times i want to quit all these superficial, temporarily gratifying nonsense but i cannot find enough will power to do so.

i've been reading an old friend's blog posts on tumblr and i can relate to most of what she said. she was an incredible writer back then in high school but now she's stuck in a job she hates. it sucks to be an adult. especially when you're an adult stuck in a job you absolutely hate, a job that's so far from your dreams that not even light years can fill. and then you earn minimum wage. and then there's the daily traffic that can age you in seconds. it's terrible out there. if i could choose, i'd choose to be a kid again.

delicious ambiguity.